


Before everything

by Teddymeastrid



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Bedroom Sex, Bisexual Male Character, Captain America: The First Avenger, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Marvel Universe, Mischief, NSFW Art, Porn With Plot, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Sex, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, World War I, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2019-07-25 08:20:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 11,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16193696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddymeastrid/pseuds/Teddymeastrid
Summary: Steve Rogers is trying very hard to fight for his country. Bucky Barnes thinks he's being too reckless and wants to protect him. But Steve insists he doesn't need it. Does he though?





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky Barnes leans over the table and lazily kisses his girlfriend on the forehead in Steve and Buckys shared apartment. Steve clenches his hands. It's getting harder not to say anything, but what exactly can he say? "Hey, Buck, I'm in love with you, please stop seeing her because I'm jealous".   
"You say something, bud?" Bucky looks straight at him.  
"Nono, nothing". Steve mumbles. Now more scared than ever that he would actually blurt that out.   
Bucky moves to turn on the radio. It's a ritual they've created. But to no suprise, the world is still at war.  
"The future of America is in your hands!" Yells the man from the radio.   
Bucky walks back to the table and puts his hands on Steves shoulders. Steve tenses up beneath him, even though this was in fact a normal Bucky move.   
Buckys girlfriend, Victoria, Steve believes, looks down onto the paper on the table, pretending not to hear them.  
"You're going to try and sign up again today?" Steve nods confidently.   
"And this time they have to let me in".  
"Don't get hurt". Bucky frowns, Steve can hear it in his voice. His hand automatically goes to his stomach. Where his skin has just turned purple. Despite the pain, he's not ready to give up.  
Bucky backs away. His girlfriend is now staring at them intensely. He can't exactly make out what she's trying to say to him as he meets her eyes, but she is clearly annoyed by him.  
"I gotta go". He says and stands up, bumping into Bucky and of course getting a hand when he almost falls on him. He grabs his jacket and heads out the door.   
"Third times the charm", he mumbles as he closes the door behind him.

Bucky stares at the door for a few seconds, wanting to follow Steve. Protecting him was far from easy because he kept getting himself into trouble. Bucky couldn't even begin to understand how he ended up in those kinds of situations. But even though he hated that Steve did get himself into those situations, he loved the fact that it was he who got to help him out of them, despite the fact that he'd actually been beaten up a few times himself because of how Steve didn't seem to care about the size of the guys he called out. So it did kinda stress him out every time Steve walked out that door alone.

"Bucky!" He jumps as she touches his arm. She frowns at him.   
"Yes, babe?" He smiles, that smile he knows brings women to their knees. It doesn't work.  
"You never listen, do you?" She sighs.   
"I said, you don't have to protect him all the time. He'll be fine. Sometimes other people need saving too". She's obviously thinking about herself, but Bucky isn't sure what exactly she needs saving from, so he does the most stupid thing, he realizes as an afterthought, and asks her.   
"Why do you always have to protect him? If I didn't know any better I wouldn't think you cared about me at all".  
She leaves and slams the door in his face. He's quite baffled. And he's not sure he'll ever understand women at all. He regrets asking her to move in to his room, but he doesn't want to be rude.

Steve tries to swallow that lump he feels in his troat while blinking furiously at his boots as he walks out of the military station. Why can't they just let him join the army? What do they have to lose? He is so focused on this that he doesn't even notice the man he walks into until it's too late.   
"I'm so sorry, sir". He says and lifts up his hands, palms againt his guy. The first strike hits him straight across the jaw. Then another one follows, but he manages to raise his arms and block it before it breaks his jaw.   
"Why are you hitting me?" He yells, but the man doesn't respond, but instead kicks him in the gut and has him flying, landing head first on the asphalt. He sees stars and he can feel something warm run down his neck.   
"You can't just go around hitting people who accidentally walk into you". He says as he stumbles to his feet, supporting himself against the alley wall while also trying to defend himself against the next blow. He manages to duck and the guys hand flies into the wall and Steve hears the sound of bones breaking. The man screams.


	2. Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets into trouble. Bucky thinks he's taking too long getting back home. Victoria is mad.

"You broke my fucking hand, you cunt!" The man yells. "You have no place in the fucking military! You can't do shit. What do you expect you'd do? The only thing you're good for is working with the rest of the women where you beling!" That makes Steve super pissed.  
"Not only are you a bully, but you're a horrible person! How do you think the military would get supplies like weapons and food and clothes and everything else if it weren't for the women working really hard to give it to them? Also, women can be in the army too and so can I! Women are amazing and I would be honored to be in their company, in the factories or otherwise!"   
The next punch is a little unsteady, but it hits Steve perfectly in the jaw. He falls over, and the guy starts to kick him. His vision starts to get more and more blurry, but he tries to resist, to get up and he's flailing around, but to no avail. His entire body feels like it's on fire. He can feel his heart beating in several of his body parts, but he refuses to scream even now. Eventually everything goes black.

Victoria is sitting at a table with three other women. "Did you hear there is a group of women who joined the army? And they're in the air force, not nurses! I want to do that too. Imagine flying an aircraft on your own!"   
"No Vivian, that's absurd. We're better off as nurses, less chance of dying".   
"Besides, we get to meet a lot of handsome men like this". Adds the third one.   
"Come on Jeanett, not everything is about cute boys, no matter how cute they are... speaking of, Victoria, how is your handsome soldier doing?" Victoria looks at them for a moment.   
"I don't think he loves me". She says. The girls gasp. "Maybe he thinks he does, but I have seen the way he looks at Steven. Like he's a lost puppy who always need protection. And I know he does because that boy knows how to get into a fight. He's like a chihuahua. Thinks he's a beast, but one could actually kill him if they as much as touch him". The women laugh. "Unfortunately Bucky seems a little more interested in him than me. Not even talking dirty to him seems to get his attention anymore".   
"Victoria! Sssshhh". They all look around to see if anyone's heard them.   
"Maybe i should just go overseas and help where they really do need help?" They all nod. Like puppets, she tinks. It's almost ridiculous how in sync they are. But she did really think about leaving. Maybe she'd give him one last chance first.

Bucky paces around the apartment. It's getting rather late and neither of the two had come home yet. He had no idea where Victoria was and it couldn't possibly take that long for Steve  to apply, unless something had gone horribly wrong. Maybe they finally figured out he'd forged his papers? In that case he'd be down at the police station anwsering questions. He was about to look for his jacket as he heard the lock turn and Victoria was at the entrance. It kind of disappointed him a little, but mostly, he told himself, because she could take care of herself and Steven motherfucking Rogers could not.   
"Hey", he says sheepishly and puts his hand on his neck, rubbing it.  
"Going out?" She asked and lifted her eyebrows.   
"I was", he answers.   
"To find Steve?"  
"I didn't know where you were".   
"You don't know where Steve is either".  
"You can take care of yourself. You're strong and independent".   
"Yes I am aware, James. But sometimes women wants someone to be there for them because no one can be strong all the time. Not even you". She paused to catch her breath.   
"Go find him..." she added. And Bucky didn't really know what to do about her, but he really did have to find his friend as the thought of Steve alone and probably beaten in a back alley scared the living shit out of him.


	3. Where are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky heads out to look for Steve.

Steve came to his senses slowly. The first thing he heard was rain pouring down heavily  He started to feel his toes. They were ice cold. He shivered. Then he could feel his hands and his face and finally he tried to open his eyes, but either they didn't work or it was completely dark where he was. He tried to sit up, but the pain shot through his body and he whimpered.   
"Hey, hey, hey, lie still, you're pretty hurt, man". He didn't recognize the voice, but it didn't really matter right now.   
"Cold". He pressed out with a dry, almost unhearable voice. The man put something warm over him and gently tucked it around him. It hurt, but Steve instantly felt warmer so he couldn't really mind.  
"Just rest brother", the man said and Steve, as exhausted as he was fell asleep as he stopped shivering. 

Bucky walks around to every single place he thinks Steve could possibly be and he gets more and more worried as he can't find him anywhere. On one location however, he found blood outside. He hoped to god it wasn't his friends blood and that Steve was ok, maybe he'd already gone home. (In which case this whole section of the story would be a waste of time and simply just to show how much Bucky cared about Steve.) He did not, however want to take the risk and lose time going all the way home again when he'd go there eventually anyway.

It started to rain around midnight and Bucky had been out for a few more hours. He was now soaking wet, cold, hungry and exhausted, but still he didn't intend to stop until he found his friend.   
"Jesus, why can you never stay out of trouble". It really annoyed him, the fact that Steve had no regards for his own safety, and the fact that he thought he had something to prove to everyone. But it was very much like Steve to stand up for himself and that was one of the things Bucky admired about him. No matter how many times that man got hit, he never backed down. Bucky just hoped it hadn't resulted in his death this time.

Bucky is now shaking and he realizes it's too dark to see anything so he goes home, hoping to find Steve sleeping soundly in his bed. He carefully opens Steves door and turns on the light and to no surprise, Steve is not there. He swallows hard a few times and looks up, directly into the light and he gets himself together. Steve is fine. He is ok. Maybe he just found a girl to bed. Yes, that had to be it. Of course. The thought didn't make him feel any better though and he wasn't really sure why. He walked into the bathroom and took off all his clothes and placed them in the bath so they wouldn't stain the floor. Then he simply dried himself down with a towel, not caring who's it was. He was about to walk into his own room when he remembered that Victoria was probably sleeping in there, and Steve didn't exactly use his bed. So he walked in there and closed the door. It didn't feel right being in here, but at the same time he needed it. Needed Steve to be closer to him. He lay down and pulled the duvet over his cold body and the smell of Steve came crushing down on him. He breathed in.   
He noticed something hard under Steve's pillow and pulled out a tattered looking sketchbook. It was filled with sketches of Bucky and them together. He hugged it tightly. "Please be ok" he said out loud. 

Steve wakes up again to the sound of birds chirping and someone snoring beside him. He's still in a lot of pain, but he can actually sort of move now so that is good. He uses his elbows to sit up a bit and he can finally look around now. He's quite suprised when he sees that he's actually still outside. He's sitting under an improvised tin roof created by what seems to look and smell like a dumpster. And he's lying on a stack of cardboard, with a blanket and a wool jacket covering him. The man beside him is wearing tattered clothes, a hat and a scarf that says this man used to be in the navy. Steve puts two and two together as the man isn't wearing a jacket. Still he doesn't look as cold as Steve feels. He quickly takes off the jacket and puts it over the man, Who jerks awake.


	4. Forgetful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets home

"Who? Oh". He looks down at the garnment.   
"Thank you, sir for letting me borrow it. And also for saving me and getting me out of the rain. I really appreciate it". The man smiles.   
"No problem brother. Couln't let ya freeze to death, not after standing up to that bully last night, even though ya did get your ass handed to ya".   
"I hate bullies with a burning passion". Steve responded.   
"Me and you both brother. The name is Isaiah by the way". He reached out his hand and Steve took it, despite the serious pain he was in.   
"Steve".   
"Now, Steve, do you perhaps have a home I should help you get to? Any family that might be worried about you?"  
"The only family i have is Bucky". Steve didn't even have to think about that response before he said it because that was the truth.   
"Well then", said Isaiah. "I'm sure your boyfriend will be thrilled to see ya". Steve didn't even correct him because the thought made him more happy than he liked to admit. 

Well home after an hour of struggling, they were finally at the door. Usually it would take Steve about ten minutes to get home from there, but today his entire body was in pain.   
He found the keys in his pocket and tried to be as silent as possible as he walked inside. He told Isaiah to take whatever he wanted from the fridge and that he could sleep on the couch if he wanted to as long as he was quiet. Then he went into the bathroom and saw Buckys clothes soaked in the bathtub. He hung them up and then took a quick shower.   
As he got out he remember that he'd forgotten to get a towel, so he just grabbed the one on the floor, hoping it was somewhat clean. He went up to his hair and when he looked at the towel he realized he was still bleeding. Luckily he had quite a few bandages so he found one and wrapped it tightly around his head. If it kept on going he'd have to ask Bucky to stitch him up.

When he walked back out into the livingroom he was really naked because he'd also forgotten to get clothes, which was probably a good thing because getting out of his oød ones was a nightmare. Isaiah was already snoring on the couch, with quite a few different foods on the table before him. Steve cleaned up what he could, but left a little for when the man would wake up. Now he felt extremely ready to sleep in his own bed. He hadn't even been away from it more than a day and he already missed the feeling of it. 

He didn't even bother to turn on the lights because he already knew where everything was. And so he simply fell onto the bed. Wait, no? He hit something hard and heard someone grunt and they both yelled out in pain.  
 "Buck?" "Steve?" They said at the same time. Steve got up to turn on the lights. And when Bucky saw him, he jumped out of bed and hugged him tightly, unaware for a second that they were both in fact naked.   
"Thank God you're alive. Don't you ever do that again!"   
"Ow, Buck, you're hurting me". Steve said as calmly as he could after a little while. Bucky stepped back and finally took him in. Steve felt like a tiger in a zoo. Or more accurately, a penguin. Either way, he felt more naked than ever. And the fact that he was didn't make things much better.   
"Steven Grant Rogers", Bucky said slowly, lingering at every word. "What happened?" He let his thumb slide carefully down Steves bruised ribs. "And your head". He walked around him and carefully removed the bandage. Steve tried not to flinch. "We need to get this fixed right away. God, you're still bleeding". 

Bucky steered Steve back out into the livingroom where Isaiah slept soundly. He stopped. "Who is that man on our couch?"   
"Long story", Steve responded.   
"You can tell me while i patch you up". They walked into the bathroom and Bucky urged Steve to tell him what happened.  
"Ok, so i tried and failed to get into the military again. As i walk out of the building i walk into a guy. He beat me up. I fainted. Isaiah here saw the whole thing, dragged me out of the rain and so i brought him here. I think he's homeless. Ok, so the story wasn't that long, but still..." Bucky stopped.   
"And where was this?" Steve told him.


	5. I guess we have to share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because of Steve

Bucky looked mortified. As if he'd seen a ghost. "The dumpster... i was there... and i didn't see you... what if that would have been the reason you didn't come back".   
"Heyhey, Bucky, buddy, you're spiraling. Look at me. Hey, look at me, i'm right here, ok. I am right here with you". Steve didn't even care anymore. He touched Buckys face and made him look him directly in the eyes. Then Bucky pulled him back into a hug. This time Steve didn't really wanna let go, but he was starting to get cold again. 

"Why did you sleep in my bed anyway?"  
"Oh". Bucky stepped away again. "Victoria kicked me out. We had a fight and you weren't using your bed".   
"Why did she kick you out?"  
"You". Bucky sighed. It wasn't entirely true, but it would have to do. Steve would figure out if he lied too much.   
"And the couch is unavailable". Steve stated.  
"So do you want to share your bed with a poor soul?"   
"Only if you put on underpants". It wasn't until then it seemed that bucky realized he was naked and then that Steve was naked too. His face turned red, but it kept on going too until his entire upper torso was red too. Steve smiled. So he was affected by the situation. It wasn't like they'd never seen each other naked before, but there was something in the air now, thick as fog. But neither of them could identify this new found feeling quite exactly. 

They both finally lay down next to each other. Steve really had missed his bed, even though he didn't picture this at all. It was a tight squeeze with two people in the bed, especially when the secone one was as big as Bucky was. He tried to position himself comfortably without touching his friend, but it was impossible. So he gave up his efforts to do so and simply tried to relax although that wasn't exactly simple with this man radiating heat beside him and him being cold. But eventually Steve fell asleep to Buckys steady breathing.


	6. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up in an awkward situation. Things don't seem to get better at the breakfast table.

When Steve woke up it was because the sun hit him directly in the eyes. He hadn't slept this good in years. He smiled as he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, only to find himself spooning his best friend, with his arm around him, almost touching his crotch. And also his foot over him. Bucky lay flat on his back and looked more peaceful than Steve had seen him in a long time. He didn't want to disturb him, so he tried to move his body away as carefully as possible. But as he moved away, Bucky rolled over and they were even closer. Their noses were almost touching, and Steve was pretty sure now that his hand was at the very least near Buckys crotch and he couldn't move it away because it was trapped between his thighs.   
"Victoria". Bucky mumbled in his sleep. Steve froze. "Victoria I need to say..." his sentence trailed off and became nonsense.   
Bucky moved again, and now his hand was definitely touching Buckys dick. He had dreamt about this moment for so long... but not like this. Not without consent. Not with Bucky saying Victorias name in his sleep instead of his. As if on cue, Bucky shouted his name. "Steve! No, Steve! Don't go!" He was twitching now so Steve decided he'd wake him up. He got his hand back and shook Bucky gently.   
"I'm here buddy. You just had a nightmare, it's ok. Yes, hi, hello". Bucky woke up with a gasp and for the third time since steve got back, he got a hug from this man. He couldn't exactly complain about it. 

The breakfast that morning was enjoyed in complete silence, until, unexpectedly, Victoria clears her troat. "Gentlemen. I must say, thank you so much for your hospitality and everything you've done for me". She looks at Bucky. "But I am afraid i'm being shipped out overseas tomorrow". Steve looks over at Bucky who is clearly struggling to keep himself together.  
"When will you be back?" Steve asks so everyone won't focus as much on Bucky.  
"I will not. I never meant to come between you two. I love you both very much, but I can see that you clearly love each other more than i could ever love Bucky. Therefore i have made the decision to leave because I do not wish to be in your way". She smiles from ear to ear, seemingly unaffected by it all. Bucky grabs Steves thigh under the table before he speaks.   
"Of course. He is my family and I couldn't dream of choosing soneone else above him". Her smile isn't really holding up as she says "i guess you'll be sleeping in his bed tonight as well then". Before she politely takes her leave.   
"She's an intense lady, that one". Isaiah mutters. The other two agree.


	7. Night two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has to stay in Steves bed a second night. Frustration takes control.

Steve takes a minute of his own as Isaiah and Bucky are in full conversation about what Bucky can do to save this farse of a relationship. Steve doesn't want to think about it too much. He'd rather memorize what happened this morning. He walks into his bedroom and gets his sketchbook. He quickly looks through it. It is filled with drawings of Bucky and him. Most are of Bucky, but some are of them together, as soldiers, saving the world from all evil, big or small.   
But that isn't the picture he is going to draw now. Right now he just wants to draw Bucky so he can keep it forever in his memory. He draws the sleeping face and the hair and the torso and arms before he stops for a second. The image of his hand touching Bucky erodes it's way onto the paper without him realizing, and before he is completely finished drawing it, he's standing there stroking himself and thinking about fucking his best friend, what it would feel like to have his dick in his mouth and his body against his own. For Steve, it had always been Bucky and he wished that Bucky would feel the same he did, but the man had a new girlfriend every few weeks. Bucky was a ladies man and Steve hated it. Aaand the moment was over. Steve felt extremely unsatisfied. He groaned at himself for being a moron. He always thought about Bucky, but sometimes he just got so frustrated, one way or the other. He kept dropping all these hints, but all og them went over his head, either by choice or maybe just cause he was as straight as a stick with feelings. 

As the night grows darker, Victoria returns and she greets the group warmly. They've found themselves having a great time in each others company, but with her back it takes a turn for the worse, Steve thinks, although she doesn't seems to be affected by anything she's said at all. Actually she's more open and warm than ever. It's like Steve can finally ser why Bucky fell in love with her. She drops the role of jealous girlfriend and starts to act more like she belongs in this group. And Steve realizes he might actually miss having her around, not that she's been here for very long, around a month. Bucky was just a place to stay before she could move on to the next job, as far as Steve can tell. And Bucky was fine with that because she'd given him what he wanted. But a few weeks ago their dynamic seemed to change. They'd fallen in love as far as Steve could tell. 

"What a great day", Bucky says while undressing.   
"You're ok with all of this?" Steve asks with worry in his voice.   
"Actually, I think it's all better this way. It was about time she decided to leave". Bucky answers and lies down next to Steve who again is squeezed up against the wall, trying not to touch Bucky too much.   
They're facing each other. Steve lets his eyes roll down to Buckys lips. It would be so easy to just lean forward just a little, but he doesn't. And Bucky rolls over.   
"You'll hurt your back if you lie like that all night, buddy. You can do what you did last night and put your arm over me".  So Steve did, as carefully as possible put his hand on Buckys naked stomach. 

Bucky followed Steves eyes as they moved to his lips. He licked them unconciously. All he wanted was to bend over and kiss Steve, but he couldn't do that. He didn't want to risk what they had, but he craved Steves touch. He rolls to his other side so Steve won't be able to see, nor feel how hard the thought makes him.  
"You'll hurt your back if you lie like that all night, buddy. You can do what you did last night and put your arm over me", he told him and as Steves fingers brushed over his stomach, he had to surpress a full on moan. It would be a long and sleepless night tonight, it seemed.


	8. Nightly affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky struggle with the fact that they have to sleep in the same bed.

Steve struggles not to move his hand for what seems like hours. He can see the moon rize higher and higher through his window. But he can feel himself start to slip as he slowly drifts into sleep. He starts to trace Buckys muscles with his fingers. He can hear Bucky gasp. So he wasn't asleep like Steve had hoped. He was just being a good friend, he told himself as he drifted asleep with his head against the warmth of Buckys back.

Bucky takes a deep breath as Steve starts to caress his body. He hears Steves deep breathing and realizes he's not doing it on purpose, but when he starts to trace the hairs up and down his stomach, Bucky has to really focus not to wake Steve up. And it doesn't get any better when Steves head tilts down and his lips meet Buckys skin. His breath hits him softly. Bucky tries to adjust himself and eventually ends up on his back. Steve's still in a deep sleep beside him.   
"Oh yes, baby, right... there". Steve whispers, the last word ending in a moan, and Bucky can't take it anymore. He sits up and Steves hand lands on his crotch. For a moment he freezes in place, hoping Steve won't wake up. And when he's pretty sure he hasn't, he gets out of the bed and steps into the livingroom.

It is lit by a single candle on the table, and Isaiah, looking up from his notes, perplexed for a second, before he understands and smirks. "Don't let me bother ya", he says and looks down again, tipping a pen against his nose. Bucky storms into the bathroom without a word.

Bucky had never quite felt like this before about anyone. This one man drove him absolutely crazy. He still felt the warmth of his breath on his back and the way it felt to be touched like that by him. He had to remind himself several times that Steve was in fact asleep when it happened and when people were asleep they didn't know what they were doing. It was Buckys fault after all. He didn't even manage to pull his underpants all the way down before he put his hand around his own shaft, picturing it to be Steves hand, Steves mouth and Steves ass. Without noticing he gets cum on his underpants. He takes them off and puts them in the laundry basket. Then he walks back out in the livingroom where Isaiah doesn't even bother to look up, thankfully... then he goes back to bed and finally falls asleep, forgetting to worry about the fact that he's naked now.


	9. The kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting more and more complicated. As Victoria is about to leave, she decides she wants to help.

The next day Steve has a guilty look on his face and he can't really seem to meet Buckys eyes. Bucky understands why, he thinks, but he can't for the life of him understand why Steve couldn't just get over it and look him in the eyes. Ok, so maybe he didn't really get it, but nothing had really happened between them so he didn't get what the big deal was. 

Steve had woken up first today. And he had actually fallen out of bed as he did so, taking a baffled Bucky with him, hitting the floor and crushing Steve below his weight, which had led Steves wound to open up and he'd started bleeding all over the floor and Bucky, still half asleep desperately tried to get off of Steve and make sure he was ok at the same time, ending up patting his cheeks and repeating "shit, shit, shit, i'm so sorry, are you ok?" Over and over again. The reason for all of this of course, was Steve waking up with his head on Buckys stomach, looking directly at Buckys hard on and his own hand wrapped around it and he had simply panicked.

Victoria looked at them with newfound wonder. How could they love each other this much and just not know? And since she cared so much about them, she decided to do something to push them in the right direction. She'd gone to see if she had forgotten something in the laundry basket and she'd mentioned it to Isaiah. He'd told her something quite curious about last night. So of course she asked an already flustered Steve to go through the laundry basket because it was not a place for a lady. And being the gentleman that he was, he walked into the bathroom, with a not so confident looking Bucky on his tail.  
"They're so in love", Isaiah said to her. And she sat down next to him and whispered something in his ear.

In the bathroom Steve had opened the basket and was looking directly at a pair of cum stained underwear. Bucky had just grabbed his shoulder in pure panic and when Steve opened his mouth to say something, Bucky decided to shut him up with a kiss. Steve gasped and then leaned into it.  
"Not a word, Rogers".  
"Maybe you should look for any of her clothes?"  
"I think she already has".  
"Oh... wait, was that the underwear you were using last night? Is that why you were naked this morning?" Bucky didn't respond, simply shut the lid and walked with rehearsed pride back into the livingroom while Steve stays behind, wondering what had just happened. He touched the back of his head. Had he lost so much blood he'd just hallucinated James Buchanan Barnes had kissed him? Steve had so many questions and not enough time in the world to get an answer to all of them.

Isaiah couldn't help but feel like a third wheel where he sat by the small table. Or maybe a fourth would be more accurate. As he did in fact feel like a part of this small group of people already. Bucky and Steve were staring at each other. Victoria blinked at him before she cleared her throat.  
"Hey, Bucky, since i'm leaving now, maybe you and Steve could take the bigger bed, so Isaiah here could sleep in a bed tonight as well?"  
"That's a great idea", Steve chimed in a bit too fast. Bucky grinned.  
"Yessir", he said and saluted the lady.  
"But i've already overstayed my welcome", Isaiah tried. "Not at all, we would love to have you around for much longer", said Bucky. And so it was decided, Steve and Bucky would share beds for another night.


	10. All alone again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to be settling down.

Things had finally started to calm down again. They'd parted with Victoria on good terms. And Steve and Bucky had headed out to run and otherwise work out, to the best of Steves ability. Isaiah was now alone in the apartment.   
He looked around as if seeing everything for the first time. He opened a drawer and lifted a few of the items, then moved on to next one. He was looking for something, but he wasn't exactly sure what, but he knew he had to. 

"Come on, Bucky, i really want to do this? Why can't you just support me in this?" Steve couldn't begin to understand why he was so against him being in the army.   
"But why do you have to do it?" Bucky says harshly, irritated and tired of the whole argument.  
"Because I want to save people! I want justice and safety for everyone. The world isn't right and I want to make it right again. I want to fight, with you so i can know for sure that you're safe!"   
"Wait, me? But I'm the one who wants you to be safe. Here, where the worst thing that can happen is someone beating you up and a stranger picks you up and gets you back home in one piece. Out there... if you fuck up, you're dead". Bucky stops it there, but Steve doesn't want protection. He wants to fight for what matters.   
"This discussion isn' over", he says and picks up the speed to a steady jog. He keeps pushing until he's wheezing. Bucky runs up next to him, seeminly not struggling at all.   
"Time to head home". Bucky says. Steve is in no position to disagree. 

Well home, Bucky stops Steve from evering the house. The door was open. Something felt incredibly wrong. But of course, Bucky only gets the door half open before Steve ducks under his arm.  
"Wow".   
"What?" They both stop and look around. Their apartment is lit up only by candles. The smell of roasted meat hits their nostrils and they both breathe in at once. The table actually has a tablecloth on it now. And on top of tye tablecloth is something taken out of a magazine.   
"There is a note", Bucky says and moves into the room. He opens it.  
"A pleasure being in your company, thank you for inviting me into your home, signed Isaiah, but that's crossed out and under it is written Loki, god of miscief".   
"What would a norse god do in the states? Like gods are real. Next thing I know creatures will invade from space. Hah". Steve takes a seat and Bucky goes to get the meat.   
"Well, at least we can enoy this beautiful meal no matter who prepared it". 

They sit down, right opposite each other. The table is so small that their knees are almost touching. Steve resists the urge to move closer, not sure if feeling the warmth of Buckys body is helping or making things worse. We're just friends, nothing more, just friends.   
"Yes, i know", Bucky says.  
"What?"  
"I know we're just friends".  
"Oh... no, i mean yeah... best friends though". Steve tries to smile. It doesn't really come out as such. He's trying not to focus on Buckys knees and what's above them, however he ends up staring into his eyes instead. Bucky stare back. They sit like that, just staring at each other intensely. The fire in their eyes spreads around their bodies and they both sit there, hard as rocks. The food is forgotten completely. Bucky is the first to break the intense silence  
"I think i'll head to bed. Doesn't seem like Isaiah needs it anymore so i guess we'll be sleeping in separate beds tonight... goodnight". He stands up and Steves eyes falls on the bulge in his pants. He hurries off and closes the door a bit too harshly. Steve sighs and puts his hand down his own pants, wishing it was someone elses, as he had done for quite some time now. 

Steve walks into his own room and jumps out of his clothes. He thinks about leaving them scattered, but he takes the time to fold them and neatly put them on top of the dresser. He lays down and keeps stroking his own cock. There is a knock on the door. He hurriedly covers himself up.   
"Best friends can sleep in the same bed, right? I can't sleep alone in my own. It's too big". Steve smiles and nods.


	11. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw

Steve watches as Bucky strips down to his underwear. He stops for a brief moment before that gets thrown on the floor as well. Steve stares at his firm ass and his hand automatically runs down to his shaft. 

Bucky doesn't move, he just stands there, as if showing off to Steve, giving him a private show. Steve squeezes and then lets out a small unidentifiable sound of pure lust. It seemed to have woken up Bucky because at the sound of that, he turns around. 

Steve now gets to take in his full arousal. Bucky blushes. It goes all the way down his body. Steve realizes he is still stroking himself while his friend is watching him. Buckys hand lands on his own shaft. Steve can barely believe it. He's been dreaming about this sight for so long. 

Steve moves slightly to give Bucky more space on the bed. Bucky lies down next to him and covers himself with Steves duvet. Steve looks up at the roof. They can feel the duvet going up and down with their rythm.   
Steve shifts his glare of consentration from the ceiling and sees that Bucky is staring at him. He stares back. They just lie like that a few moments, their bodies getting closer on the already tight space. 

Steve finds his hand wandering over to Buckys thigh. They're both breathing heavily. Their hands meet for a moment and then cross. Buckys hand is on Steves thigh too. They move in sync up to the intended spot. 

Steve can feel how warm it is just from a light touch of the outside of his palm. Neither of them seem to want to be the first to do it, but after a brief moment they both cave. 

Bucky finds the tip of Steves dick and rubs it with his thumb. He's more concentrated about that fact than the fact that Steve is also doing the same to him before they both take a hold of the others dick and makes the other cum. Steves moans are what does it for Bucky. It sends him over the edge long before he'd like to. 

He can feel Steve trying to open his mouth and say something as he turns away.   
"Go to sleep". Bucky says quickly. "Don't ruin anything by saying something about it. Let it be what it is". 

And so they both, wide awake and still not entirely satisfied, were pretending to sleep for the rest of the night.


	12. Making up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets hurt

Steve lies on his side, with his face against the wall. Bucky does the exact opposite. Which means their asses are touching, even though they both tried to avoid it. 

They're both waiting for the others breath to flatten out, but it doesn't happen, which means Bucky is very aware that Steve is awake and Steve is very aware that Bucky is awake. But Steve doesn't want to move. He's actually quite mad. Both out of sexual frustration and the fact that Bucky wanted him to shut up.

Bucky is actually the first to say anything, after an antagonizingly long silence.   
"I'm sorry" he says and turns around to face Steve. But Steve does not respond. Then Bucky leans down and kisses Steves shoulder. Steve, without really thinking about it, elbows Bucky quite hard in the face.   
"Oof!" Bucky exclaims as he draws backwards.    
Steve quickly turns around to see what he did, frantically apologizing over and over again.   
Bucky is bleeding quite a lot. 

Without thinking much of it, Steve jumps over Bucky and sprints to his drawers, handing Bucky a clean cloth. Then he exits the room and pulls the blanket off the couch and puts it around his now cold body. Then he simply sits down and waits. He thought maybe Bucky would follow him, if nothing else, maybe to clean himself up. The minutes tick away. Each one feels longer than the next. Steve stares at the door as if he can force Bucky to come through it just with the power of his mind, but it doesn't happen. So Steve has to be the one to give up and check on Bucky. He opens the door and hears a faint snore. So he shuts it again and just walks to the other bed. Exhausted, he falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

Bucky sits up as the light hits his face. The sheets are bloodied, but it doesn't matter to him. He knew he deserved it. He touches his nose carefully. It hurts a bit, but it isn't broken so he decides to go shower. But Steve is already up and sitting in the sofa looking a little perplexed.   
"Steve? Are you ok?" Bucky says as he approaches. Steve looks at him sternly. A look Bucky didn't expect at all.   
"I am going to go try for the army again today". His voice carries no room for negotiation. So Bucky bends a little closer to Steves face.  
"Ok", he simply says. Their faces are now only inches apart. But even though Bucky does want to close the space between them, he can't. He doesn't really know why. Maybe it's the fact that Steve is so determined to die... but that he knew was also why he loved him... wait, did he love Steve? He knew for sure that last night had been amazing until he had panicked. He hurries and kisses Steve on the cheek before he moves to the bathroom before Steve gets to decide if he wants to say anything or not because Bucky wasn't ready yet. He knew he had to, cause fuck, they were at war. But it wasn't that easy. Not east at all.


	13. The confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk

"Hold on", Steve says a little too harshly. When Bucky moves away from him again. He's mad and hurt, but still he feels guilty for the way he says it. Bucky stops and stays completely still, as if he just realized what he'd done. 

"Why?" Steve continues, but his voice changed to a softer one, but this time he didn't like how hurt he sounded.  
"Why?" Bucky echoes.   
"Why did you kiss me?"   
"I didn't kiss you".   
"My cheek is a part of me, isn't it?" Steve is just done at this point. He wanted answers and he absolutely didn't care because he'd soon leave anyway. And if he didn't go, Bucky definitely would. He couldn't wait in the unknown until either of them got back, especially if there was a chance one of them wouldn't, which it was. It always would be.   
"Look, I know I shouldn't have. You want to go. I don't condone it, but I obviously can't stop you from doing it"...  
"Oh..."  
"Steve, I..."  
"Is that what this is about? You're scared of me leaving?" Steve interrupted.  
"No, that's not..." Bucky tried again.  
"I get it, you don't think it is safe, I know that. And me telling you 'I love you' will make you more scared or something, but even though that is the case it doesn't change anything. I'm still going to go... I have to because it is the right thing to do..." 

"Steve, please just shut up for a moment!" Steves rant trails off as Bucky grabs Steves small shoulders. They look into each others eyes. In one pair there is passion and in the other there is fear, but in both there is so much love it is overflowing. 

Bucky takes a deep breath. "You don't get it, do you? After all this time, you still don't get it".  
"Say it then!" Steve practically yells back. "Say you love me!"   
"Steve, it's not that easy"...  
"You're wrong, it is that easy. Either you do or you don't. No more staying friends bullshit, no more not talking to each other, no more secrets. Just tell me what you want". Steve stops and bites the insides of his cheeks, looking into Bucks eyes and finds nothing he wants to see.   
"Ok, find me when you're ready". Steve says as he fumbles almost blindly towards the door and then leaves, again. Leaving Bucky breathless and in tears. 

Bucky punches the table in frustration and the wood cracks down the middle, splinters flying everywhere. "FUCK!"


	14. Dreams or something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't seem to agree. Two familiar faces intervene once again

Steve rushes outside, walks blindly down the stairs and cross the buzy road without really looking and he keeps walking until he of course ends up outside the Brooklyn army base, however only stopped for a brief second to admire the uniformed individuals that were now everywhere. That was his life, Steve thought. It was his destiny and his purpose in life and he shouldn't stop at nothing to get it, especially since Bucky already had accomplished it.

As he turned to leave he met the eyes of a  brown haired woman dressed in formal tight clothing, however, she quickly looked away and entered a truck and it and her quickly disappeared. He quickly forgot about the whole thing and kept moving away from the base. 

As he walked away, the amount of people in green got slowly less and less until they all seemed to disappear from view, just like his dreams, just like his motivation, just like Bucky... 

"Hey there buddy, long time no see, how are ya?" A well built man came and wrapped his arm around Steves shoulders. His voice was indeed familiar, but the rest of him was entirely changed, as he didn't look like a homeless man anymore at all. 

"Isaiah? Didn't think I'd see you again, and oh so very different than before". He stopped to take in the entire man in front of him, whom he now remembered thought he was, or at least tried to trick Steve into thinking he was a norse god. Isaiah grinned. Of course he did.   
"One of two things happened here. Either, you failed to find my note, or you simply do not believe me". Steve nodded, a little wierded out by the newfound british accent in Isiahs voice.   
"I am inclined to say the latter". He continued. Steve nods again. 

Bucky hasn't really moved at all since Steve left. At first he tried to not feel at all, but he realized how stupid of a decision that was and instead ended up repeating to himself "feelings are ok to have" over and over again while not moving anything else. 

Suddently there's a knock on the door and he jumps out of this one state and into the public eye soldier in two milliseconds. And then he marches over to it, already knowing it wasn't Steve because he'd simply barge right in. Then again, he wasn't prepared seeing whom it was either. He opens the door and backs away a little, eyes facing straight forward.   
"Hey, can I come in?" She says and he steps aside to let her in, although he is reluctant to.


	15. The comeback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets to know Loki.   
> Victoria is back in town.

Steve looks at Loki with newfound terror and awe as the man changed form before him.   
"We need to talk, my dear friend because obviously you cannot do a single thing on your own regard".   
"Hold on a sec. If you're Loki..." he got interrupted. "I am". He started again.  
"Ok, say you are a norse God, why would you be interested in me, a simple guy from Brooklyn?"  
"As per usual, you underrestimate yourself dear friend. Let's just say that it is essential to the plotline that you two get together". Loki winks knowingly while Steve struggles to see how that is supposed to answer his question.  
"You will know in due time, I swear it". Loki explains.  
"So what do I do about him?" Loki smiles again.

"Victoria. I... I didn't think I'd see you again". She smiles and puts her hand on his shoulder.  
"I'm sorry dear, but i am afraid i wasn't fit for the war". She rests her hand on his shoulder as he speaks.  
"You what?" He tries to get her hand off, but she ends up grabbing his hand then. And then she giggles.   
"I am afraid i couldn't handle the sight of blood and open wounds". Bucky takes a step back.  
"I thought you were used to those things". He mumbled. She mimicks his movement and take a step forward.  
"Well, maybe I just didn't want to be away from you anymore". Now she sounds more like her old self, yet what she's saying doesn't make any sense to Bucky at all.   
"But you left me, remember?" He says and takes another step back and he feels the cold edge of the kitchen sink behind him.   
"Well... It might actually have been a huge mistake. Steve sent me a letter, you see, and explained how sad you've been since I left". Bucky looks down at her. Her smile spread across her face like a shadow.   
"Uhm, he said that". He asked. She nodded and opened her mouth to say something more, but a small bang could be heard from outside and Bucky rushes towards the door.


	16. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is caught.

Steve knows he fucked up. From the minute he stubs his toe in the railing. He hurries to open the door before Bucky gets to it, which he at this point knows he would before he got to a hiding spot. 

Bucky almost runs into Steve, but catches himself before it happens.   
"Hey, you're back!" He yells a little too loudly and happily. Steve wonders if Bucky thought he'd never come back and feels as if he's been stabbed in the gut. At least what he can imagine it feels like. And for a moment Bucky seems to try and block Steves view of the room (and Victoria) while simultaniously trying to make eyecontact with Steve so he wouldn't look past him.   
"Hello, Steven". Victoria says and Bucky gives up and steps aside.  
"Oh, hey, you're back". Steve says maybe a little too wierdly. However Bucky doesn't seen to notice. Steve and Victoria share a look. She doesn't look happy. Not that it should be a problem as Victoria indeed used to look at Steve that way. 

He looks at the two sharing a look and he can feel something isn't quite right, but he doesn't care atvthis moment cause the pure relief of seeing Steve back again made every other thing unimportant. So without thinking he says to Victoria; "well, you are of course welcome to stay, but i do think you should sleep in Steves room"... He takes a pause there and he can hear Steve take a breath... "and". He continues. "Steve can sleep with me in my room... well I mean he can". He turns to Steve. "I mean you can... we can sleep next to eachother". Steve nods. "I'd like that". He says. And Victoria grins.


	17. Picture perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lokis game is about to become a lot more than Steve bargained for.

"Hey, Bucky, why don't you go buy some real food. I am gone for like 3 days and your house is just such a mess. I can't believe what I am seeing". Victoria is nose deep in the fridge and Steve tries to place himself as naturally as he possibly can next to her. Buckys prescense is looming over the room. But It doesn't feel comfortable right now, as it usually does. But what bothers Steve the most is that he doesn't know if it's because of Victoria, himself or the situation in general. 

Bucky isn't really ready to fathom what is going on in front of him as his ex bends her back and basically shoves her head into the fridge while Steve moves closer to her and he can clearly see Steve's eyes wander to her ass and stay there for a good few seconds. Bucky wants to will him to look at him and not her, but he doesn't find the right words to form a sentence in any way, shape or form. Until Victoria pops her head halfway out of the fridge to tell him to go to the store. He automatically start to get dressed again and just as he is about to leave, he realizes he might actually lose Steve to her if he walks away now so he walks back over to the two, who are both now standing there looking at him. He then bends down and kisses Steves cheek quickly, hoping it will do. And then he leaves.

They wait for a while until they hear Buckys steps disappear down the stairs before Steve takes a deep breath, as if he's held it since Bucky kissed him.   
"Did he just?" Steve finally says.   
"He did indeed". Victorias voice turns slicker and darker again and Loki is back to normal.   
"I'll never get used to that". Steve tells him.   
"Well, it's a good thing you do not need to. Besides, you've got him right where you want him now. My work here is almost done".   
"Where i want him?" Steve squeeks.   
"After tonight my good friend, he's all yours, I promise. Steve doesn't feel convinced anymore. This is nothing like he pictured at all.


	18. Jealousy gets you nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Playing Lokis game is harder than he thought it would be

Bucky feels like he's being a jealous idiot as he deliberately walks a little harder down the stairs than normal so they will hear him. Then he sneaks stealthily back up again. Combat training isn't all loud and glorious and that really makes him glad right now. He ducks under the window that luckily is cracked open and he listens in.  
"I'll never get used to that". Steve says. He sounds frustrated. Buckys heart drops.   
"Well, it's a good thing you do not need to". There is a male voice. It sounded really familiar... almost flirty.   
 "Besides, you've got him right where you want him now. My work here is almost done". Where Steve wanted him? Work? Bucky feels like he's on the verge of throwing up. He's both confused and hurt and he's not actually sure how much more of these stupid feelings he can take. He turns to leave and as he does he catches a gimpse of a rather beautiful man leaning a little too close to Steve. Then he sneaks off. But the plan is not to go buy groceries. He's about to get blackout drunk and forget Steve just for one single night of his life.

"See the plan my dear friend is to make him so jealous that he will without a doubt realize how badly he wants you". Loki smiles quirkily.   
"And the best way to do that is Victoria?" Steve asks. Because now it simply doesn't feel right.   
"Based on his reaction before, don't you think there is some truth to what i say? Do you question my intentions? Have i not been helpful thus far?" Loki grins wider.  
Steve doesn't know what to say. Of course there is some truth to it all, but he didn't want Bucky to fall for him out of jealousy. He didn't want Bucky to feel bad at all.  
"Is there no other way?" He asked.  
"Of course there are other ways. There are always other ways and other choices, but mine are just brilliant. And frankly the easiest".   
"What are my options?"  
"Tell him". Loki says and disappears in a cloud of black smoke.  
"Well, that's an exit for sure". Steve says, awe in his voice.


	19. Drunk and alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things keep getting worse

Steve is alone in the apartment, practicing the things he wants to say to Bucky when he gets back.   
"Hey, Buck, i love you... god no... hey there friend, i wanna be more than... no, can't do that... what about... i... you... why is this so damn hard?" He's pacing in a circle and he's sure he's about to burn a hole in the already tired carpet. He looks at the old watch on the wall and sees it's been hours already. He rubs his eyes and looks again. It was right the first time. He'd been trying to find the right words for a very long time. 12 am and Bucky still wasn't back? It felt strange. Something definitely had to be wrong.

He smiles halfheartedly to the bartender as he sits down.   
"Haven't seen you in a while, Mr. Barnes. The usual?" Bucky nods.   
"Make it double".   
"In a bad mood?" The bartender asks and pours two shots and two beers right away.   
"Yup, my boy... eh... my friend is at home sleeping with my ex and some other random stranger so i thought i'd better do some of that myself tonight". He says and takes the two shots. The bartender pours two more. A woman with piercing eyes and black hair walks up to him.   
"Hi". She said and held out her hand. The voice sounded familiar somehow. But he simply took another shot and decides he'd forget about it until later.


	20. The night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk, worried and plotting

The exact moment Steve realized Bucky wasn't coming home tonight was 1am on the dot. He'd been pacing and pondering for a long time and he had somehow come up with something to say that would probably make Bucky slightly uncomfortable. So he had decided he'd just wing it and see how the conversation would play out. Because those things never seemed to go the way he planned them anyway. But when he realized how long Bucky had been away he also realized that he couldn't just have gone to the store. So he figured Victoria had been an incredibly bad idea to bring back into the apartment, even though it had seemed like a really great plan when Loki proposed it. He was a fool. An absolute moron for agreeing to it. However, maybe it had been the right call. He didn't know. And it didn't seem like it would have been any easier regardless. He sat down on the couch and with his mind occupied by the why and why nots, he simply drifted away and fell asleep.

She touched his fingertips and stroked his knuckles while shyly smiling at him.  
"Another drink for the lady". Bucky said through the fog that was his own mind and the 5th glass of beer. He could barely make out her face and maybe or maybe not, that was a good thing. Yet somehow while she touched him, his mind kept drifting back to Steve. The determined yet loving and caring individual that he was. Steve with his cocky yet charming smile and his small arms and the way his hands had grabbed his crotch that night. Back to reality, the girl had now put her hand on his thigh and gently started caressing it. But he didn't feel anything. Not the same exitement or even the same lust as he did when Steve was even in the same room. So he flew up from the barstool and was left swaying for a few moments as the buzz hit him like a lightning bolt. He had to go home. He had to tell him before Steve did something stupid... or hopefully before Steve did something stupid. 

Loki finished his drink and smiled as Bucky leapt to his feet, rather ungracefully. And as he waddled out of the bar, Loki smiled to the bartender and followed at a distance. He was having a little too much fun playing with these mortals lives. So of course he needed to see where it would all end. Especially with someone as drunk as Bucky was at this point. Out in the streets a few guys tried to grab his arm so he flung them into a wall and then changed back into a man in front of their eyes. Then patted one of the guys cheeks.  
"Don't ever do that to any woman again or i will find and murder you both". He said and followed Bucky at a safe distance. Until he disappeared behind a corner.


	21. At knifepoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Loki get to know eachother

Bucky, even though he's drunk, can see a man following him out of the bar. He gets a glimpse of him in a reflection from a window. Then he hears a thud behind him and someone saying in a sweet voice:  
"Don't ever do that to any woman again or i will find and murder you both". He turns for a quick second and sees a rather strange looking man, not even a jacked one and he's knocked out two men fairly easily. 

He's only seen this man once before and it was in his own livingroom. He decides to keep walking to see if the man will follow him. Which of course, he does. So Bucky ducks around the next corner and swiftly get out a knife he's got hidden in his boot just in case. It was war after all. Then he waits. And as the strange man rounds the corner, Bucky pushes him against the wall, knife to his troat.   
"Why are you following me?" The man simply smiles, as though Bucky threatening him with a knife means nothing to him at all.   
"What do you want?" He tries again. The man lifts his hand and pushes the tip of the blade away from his troat.   
"You know, one would feel a lot more compliant to answer your questions without a knife to ones troat". Bucky takes a step back. Still ready to stab the man if he had to. 

"After our talk in the bar i expected more from you James Buchanan Barnes".   
"How do you...?" His question trailed off as he realized the man he saw now was in fact the woman in the bar. And then it hit him that maybe the Victoria he'd met earlier hadn't been the same as the one he knew from before either, especially since he hadn't seen her and this man at the same time before.  
"Mortals"... the man scoffed.  
"Always so predictable". Bucky looked at the man once again.   
"Steve knew, didn't he? How could a man like you turn into her just like that?" The man grinned.  
"Oh, but I am no man, nor woman for that matter. I am a god". He suddently started walking, expecting Bucky to follow.  
"I am suprised you figured it out so quickly young man". He continued.  
"You're quite clever. I underestimated you". Bucky didn't quite understand how he could have or what Steve wad planning, but the man seemed so impressed my Bucky's intellect that he was too afraid to ask.   
"Oh, i should probably introduce myself. I am Loki, son of Odin, brother of Thor".   
"The trickster god from norse mythologi, here, to do pranks on two random strangers in the united states of America. That's a new one".   
"Hah, mythologi. I hate that word. It inclines we do not exist. Which we do. And we like to remind people. Especially those no one would believe, like yourself and your tiny boyfriend".   
"He's not my boyfriend"...  
"Not yet". Loki smiled knowingly.


	22. Lesson learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Bucky to make a choice.

Loki is about to explode in exitement as he walks with Bucky towards the apartment.   
"You see, Bucky, i am not only the trickster god, i am the kind of person who loves to go deep in other peoples business, especially one as interesting as yours. You and Steve have something special, you see. A bond that goes through time. And i could not simply sit here and watch you two struggle like this when you have the chance to be happy together. My methods are harsh, but i did it all so you two could stop looking at eachother like lost puppies and just be happy for once in your life". Bucky tried to interrupt, but Loki held out a slender finger to stop him and Bucky fell silent.   
"It did work, did it not? Before you saw me, you were on your way to confess your undying love for your tiny man. And right as we speak he's waiting for you at home so he can tell you how he feels and you can actually now say it back, am i correct?" Bucky stops and sighs rather loudly.  
"I don't know if i can. What if i get shipped off somewhere tomorrow? What if i die? Or even worse... what if Steve somehow gets accepted, which he is determined to do. Do you expect me to be okay with him running into danger where i can't peotect him and he dies?" Loki puts his hand on Buckys shoulder. As though he'd done it many times before.  
"But Bucky, you're at war. Wouldn't you want your last day here to be happy? And not angstridden and sad like it is now. In that bar you could not even look at me because you wanted it to be him. You have for a long while. Stop living in the future and just live in those little moments of happiness that you can find. Maybe one day you will need those memories". Bucky hadn't thought about it like that before. And having someone tell him was a lifesaver. This time he wouldn't reject Steve. He couldn't.


End file.
